It’s something I have, and something I’m not quite sure what to do with. I’m sort of just beginning to realize this now. I grew up in a small town where everyone was exactly the same. I only thought about the ways I was different (my gender expression and sexual orientation). In college (the college itself is about the same population as my hometown), there actually are people who are different, and who are starting conversations about that. I’ve started thinking about race and class and ability. My friends still have to call me out when I overlook those things, but I am trying. I’m used to saying, “I’m oppressed! And this is why!” But I’m not quite sure what to do when I have privilege, and I’ve certainly got it. I feel guilty, I guess. Which is always my reaction for doing something harmful/neglectful without meaning to. But there’s something I can do past guilt, and I am working on reading and learning more.
If y’all have any suggestions, I’d be glad to hear them.
Thinking more, I realized that I have thought about this before college. This is something I thought about a lot in middle school, realizing that bad shit happens and that there are people who are worse off than me. This made me feel bad for feeling depressed (middle school is where my depression started). I was paralyzed by these thoughts. It was a cycle of feeling bad for feeling bad for feeling bad, and so on. I’m not going to be paralyzed again.
Where do I go from here?